Learning Large in Tapachula (Mahlon and Baxter)

Part of the deal when setting up the plan to come to Mexico for a month was an agreement with Mahlon's and Baxter's school that we would 'disenroll' them for a month and re-enroll upon our return. This made things simpler on their end in terms of record keeping, accountability to the state, etc.

From our end, this has meant becoming home-schoolers for a month, a task that was, in truth, quite simple in light of their being surrounded by thousands of new things, in a new city, surrounded by a different language, immersed in this very different culture. And, in fact, their curiosity has been piqued quite easily most of the time. The biggest challenge has been in encouraging reflection on these experiences without falling victim to overscheduling or overemphasis. Our primary hope was to make sure this experience was powerful for the kids...without being overpowering. And so we have tried to remember all the while that they are just 9 and 6 and so need some good ole lazing around time, screen time, and goofy brother time.

If I had to enumerate our top priorities for their learning, I would sketch out the following list: (1) to get to know a very different way of life by living in it for a month; (2) to experience first hand radically different standards of living from their own; (3) to learn how to find answers to the questions that arise when living in a new place or traveling; (4) to have what some call an 'othering experience' i.e., to feel what it's like to live where you look quite different from the majority of those around you; (5) to learn how to learn another language; (6) to learn to speak and understand some Spanish. (7) to learn some basics of the history, politics, geography, botany and zoology of Mexico (or at least of Chiapas).

If I had to sum up our approach, I would say we have, for the most part, just gone about our days with a sense of adventure and openness, keeping an eye out for the sorts of experiences described above, and waiting to see what sort of things spark their interests. We have, of course, also built in time for the more 'formal' parts of their education--i.e., to ensure that they keep up with the curriculum at school so they are up to speed with their classes when they return. Kristin has already discussed some of their experience in the neighborhood and their experiences learning Spanish. In what follows I hope to capture just a bit of what we've been up to and highlight a few key moments. It will, of necessity, only skim the surface of the experiences they've been having.

"Somewhere Else"
On the very first day in Tapachula we went to the Albergue shelter. The boys got involved in digging around in the dirt and exploring the area and seeking snacks from the store up front, but I think they were pretty stunned by what they saw. The place really is something to behold. It is a one story concrete structure with fairly plain looking rooms, a central open air area, a classroom, administrative office, an examination room, several work areas and numerous sleeping rooms. In the common areas they met people from Nicaragua, Guatemala, El Salvador, people in wheelchairs (donated, I'm told, with help from Maria Shriver) or on crutches, people with missing arms, people with severe shoulder burns, with mostly missing or damaged teeth....people who greeted them with passionate, warm smiles. When we explained what the shelter did, Mahlon asked, "Wait, I don't understand. Why can't they just go to a hospital? Why can't they get help somewhere else?" In trying to answer, the importance of the question hit me hard. I tried this: "Well, those 'somewhere elses' are only there because someone decided to make them. Hospitals are what they are because some people decided to build them. And the people who run the hospitals also decide how to give health care. And sometimes they decide that certain people can't stay there. Sometimes it's because they can't pay. Sometimes it's because they're not from this country. But when they can't stay in a hospital, either they go nowhere, or someone like Dona Olga creates a new place to help them. That's what the Albergue is." Baxter: "Where will they go when they are better?" Kristin, "Most likely, they will try again to catch a train north."

"Unusual"
As Kristin pointed out in her post, traveling around with three little blondies draws attention to us. We get many request for photos, comments about hair, and that sort of thing.


Of course, being 6"4' and 6"2 doesn't exactly make us exactly inconspicuous.




Tapachula is a very international city, in that there are many people from Central America and South America here, but we see very few people who "look like us." In fact, Juliana is the only other American I have met. And besides her and the three (now, two) Germans who work at the shelter, everyone else I have met is from Mexico, Guatamela, Nicargua or El Salvidor.

The other day at the market, when Baxter was spending an incredibly long time examining some plastic Transformer-esque figurines trying to decide which he would buy, Mahlon and I realized that we had become the object of the stares of two women. "Ever have the feeling you're being watched?" I asked. "Yeah, it has never felt so unusual having white skin. I never really thought about it until now..." The kid really has a knack for articulating the deep lessons. Transformers, indeed.

Baxter pitching in a kick ball game
(click for a larger image)

Mahlon with the neighborhood kids,
waiting in line for his turn at bat

Mahlon and Baxter with the neighbors playing
on the local outdoor, public Xbox game
(1 peso buys you 8 minuts---Thanks Gabby!)

"Having"
Both boys, but Mahlon in particular, have a growing awareness of disparities of wealth and opportunity. He's asking a lot of questions about how much money people make here, how that compares with people in America, about why people want to get to America, about why they can't. He is seeing the inside of the neighbors' houses. He is seeing what playgrounds and neighborhoods look like. He is not sure what to make of it all but, as Kristin pointed out in her earlier post, he is getting a bit self-conscious about how many things he has and is feeling a bit uncomfortable about the disparities he sees. He is a bit embarrassed, in particular, that Baxter seems so interested in buying little plastic toys whenever possible. They both seem to note the prices of things constantly, pointing out the unbelievably cheap ("a large bottle of water, only 11 pesos..that'd be like 4 bucks at home!") to what seems absurdly expensive ("a soccer jersey that cost 1000 pesos. A thousand pesos?! Who would buy that!!?").

It's tricky knowing how to "parent" in these situations. Perhaps the hardest is interacting with the really young kids who seem ever-present on the streets selling candies, offering to shine shoes, etc. Julianna told us most of these children are brought into town from neighboring Guatemala and work for an adult who 'organizes' their work. It's heartbreaking. The other day, one little boy came up offering to shine our shoes. Mahlon, Tula, Kristin and I were all wearing sandles. But he looked at Baxter's cowboy boots. Baxter got embarassed and shy and said no. But about 10 minutes later, he asked Kristin about the boy. Kristin explained the situation and how the he probably didn't go to school, that he came from the same place Mateo and Sofia (Baxter's cousins) were born, that an adult had probably sent him out to earn some money. Baxter struggled with what was clearly a swirl of embarassment and compassion. Then he braved up, walked over, digging in his pocket.

This picture simply twists my heart in so many ways I don't even know how to look at it.


In light of all this, I just answer the questions as best I can, provide them with facts I know, reflect back the feelings they're having, and point out that I don't yet have any answers to the biggest, hardest of these questions.

"Religion"
Both boys seem struck by the prevalence of Catholic iconography in the house here, at every restaurant, in every taxi... "Why all the pictures of Jesus?" "Why does someone want so many pictures of a guy on a cross?" "Why so much blood on him in that picture?" "If I see one more Jesus..." "Who's the Emperatriz de America"?

I can understand their surprise and we're trying to help them understand the role of the images, the stories behind them, the role the church plays here in people's lives, in social justice movements, etc.

Mahlon seems mostly puzzled and a little annoyed. Baxter seems fascinated by it all. The other night in a restaurant in Union Juarez, the Bax called me over to look a huge, brightly lit, very graphic crucifixion scene. He asked me to sit down, then he sat on my lap and asked about a 1000 question. Why the thorns? Why the cut in his side? Why the nails? Who did that to him? Why? Did he die? Did he go to heaven? How's heaven work? Again, I just answer the questions as best I can, provide the facts I know, reflect back the feelings he's having, and point out that I don't yet have any answers to the biggest, hardest of these questions.

"Comparisons"
The main difference the kids have noted, beyond the observations about about wealth, religion, and skin color, have to do with (a) public safety, (b) pest control, and (c) littering habits. The word "sketchy" gets thrown around quite a bit, usually referring to a driving habits, random holes in the sidewalk, cables dangling from utility poles, metal poles sticking out of the ground, and the like. They are appalled when they see people dropping trash on the street and they are at once thrilled and horrified by the general lack of car seats and seat belts.

"Service"
The boys have been very interested in figuring out a way to help at the shelter. Baxter's first idea was to raise money and he set up a Jugo de Naranja stand outside our house. He raised about 50 pesos for Dona Olga but realized that wasn't going to be quite the contribution he wanted it to be.

They played with the idea of working at the bakery at the shelter (to help roll dough and, of course, to sample the products) or with painting. Yesterday we went there to work on helping assemble some of the items they make to sell in order to raise money; however the shelter was out of materials so they helped me teach English instead.

That was an amazing experience, worthy of a full blog post later.

We've been following the advice of Baxter's kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Schey, who asked simply that he keep a writing journal while he's here. So, every day, he writes 1-3 pages. On the top 1/3 of the page, he draws a picture at the top of something that happened that day, and on the bottom 2/3 he writes about it. When he's done, I sit with him and he tells me what he wrote and I write, underneath his words, the "grown-up" words. This method, of encouraging the kids to just write, to spell what they can and do their best with what they can't works amazingly well because he can write things that interest him. I usually just write the word correctly under his words and, when he asks, will explain how it's spelled. But mostly he watches how I write it and will figure out the orthography later.

A post on the rains in Tapachula

A post on a walk for ice cream

He is really fascinated by Mexico. He stares out the taxi window on every single trip and just says, time and again, "Mexico is so cool."


That said, He is less than excited about the food, however, though he really likes quesadillas and several of the chicken dishes. Breakfasts were the highlight for a while, though he grew tired of the standard scrambled egg fare (even when they started making his without all the sauce, onions, etc). Now he gets an occasional variation: Dona Olga bought a giant box of CocoPuffs the other day, to his great delight, and the other day we had an amazing pancake breakfast. Says Baxter, "Myra is the third best pancake maker in the world. First is Aunt Jenny. Second, Grandmom. Third is Myra. Dad, you're now fourth." (Sigh.)

For the first week here I worked with Mahlon in the mornings on math. He wanted to get better at adding and subtracting fractions, so we worked on that quite a bit. We also reviewed what he had recently learned about electricity and I think we extended his understanding a bit about motors, how lights work, how to close a circuit and how houses get electricity. I read him some fairly long passages about Mexican history, Teotihuacan, Mayans, Aztecs, and that sort of thing. He was interested, especially when he learned that some of the more gruesome aspects (ritual blood letting and sacrifices) and when we learned that Tula was the capitol of the Toltecs. He also really liked the pyramids and he drew some pictures of them.

After the first week, though, I realized that I was being a bit too Professorish and decided to do some more hands-on learning for these history and geography lessons. So the other day when walked past a store that had really amazing school supplies I bought a bunch of supplies (paints, markers, etc) and several kits for making styrofoam pyramids and a styrofoam map of Mexico. We built the pyramids (Bax did an Mayan pyramid and Mahlon made an Aztec one. While they worked, I read a bit more about the places these pyramids and temples are found and told some more of the stories about how they lived.


When we were done, both boys really wanted to bring the pyramids home but they were too big, so we donated them to the house. A few days later, we were going to paint all the states on the foam Mexico, but Mahlon rightly pointed out that such a project was insanely complicated. So many states! Such long names! So we just painted them (by patriotic coincidence, the boys chose green and red paints!) and indicated the places we'd been and the places we were going (Mexico City, Tapachula, San Cristobal de la Casas, Palenque, Cancun) and the borders (Pacific Ocean, California, Texas, Gulf of Mexico, Guatemala). The results, I think, are pretty cool.
Mahlon observed that if you rotate Mexico ninety degrees counterclockwise it looks very much like a sea horse.

They boys have also Skyped with their classmates back in Pennsylvania and have been contributing to the blog.

Mahlon worked hard today to find out answers to the forty or so questions his classmates sent him (more on that soon). These experiences have been fantastic. The kids in Mahlon's class were so excited and he really loved telling them his tales. Baxter's session went well, too, though he was a bit disappointed that he didn't get to talk to his teacher more so we've setting up a one-on-one skype session with her tomorrow.

Also, we've been trying to get them on the piano whenever possible and we found a place that lets us use their practice piano for 20 pesos per kid per hour.

Mrs. O'Dor, Miss Castagna, Mrs. Shirk (Mahlon's teachers), Mrs. Schey (Baxter's teacher), Mrs Ziemba (who helped Mrs. Schey skype) and Mrs. Ensminger (their piano teacher) have been so supportive of all of this.

We are grateful for that and for the openness and warmth that has been extended to us by all of our friends, neighbors and teachers here in Tapachula who have taught our children so much.